Feb 26, 2008

Let it snow.. Let it snow.. Let it snow

Let it snow.. Let it snow.. Let it snow

That's what was happening last night in Chicago, and it could not have happened at a worst time (evening rush hour). Luckely I just beat it so I was nice and warm in my apartment.

This is the view from outside my window.

I also decided to take a video but not sure how it turned out.
Extra bonus points. Does anyone know what Showtime TV show I'm watching that you can hear in the back ground?

Gym workout week ending 02/23/08

I know it's been a while since I posted these but I wanted you to know that I have been going to the gym. For the most parts twice a day. Attached please fine my workouts from the past week.

Weekend in Chicago

Hello Blog Buddies,

I know it's been a while since I last blogged but things have been a bit busy for me. I won't bore you with the work details but I will tell you about my past weekend which started of slow. On Friday night it was a bit to cold for me to go out so I decided to stay home.

Saturday I was lying on my couch thinking of staying in again when I got a text from Jeff saying that he was in his apartment (Which is in my building) and that him and Tim were watching Dreamgirls and having drinks and wanted to know if I wanted to join them (who am I to turn down Dreamgirls). So I made my way to Jeff's apartment and enjoyed the drinks and movie. As the movie was getting towards the end Chris texted stating that he and his man were heading to Scarlet for a few drinks. I informed Jeff and Tim and I would meet up with them later since I have not seen Chris in a while.

As I arrived at Scarlet it was a OK crowd but I was getting bored of it pretty fast. After two drinks we decided to leave and head to Roscoes. As we were there dancing our ass off and having a good time it started to get late and I realized I would not be able to meet up with Tim and Jeff. We started heading towards the front of the bar to retrieve our jackets when I happened to see "Wayne". As I passed him I looked him up and down (as most gay / bi guys do) and gave him a knowing smile and mentioned to him how attractive I thought he was. I proceeded to head towards to front of the bar to wait in line for coat check and as me and my friends were waiting guess who showed up... None other then Wayne. We exchanged smiles for a second then he approached me (or maybe I approached him I don't remember). I asked him where he was planning on going. This is when he informed me that he was visiting from Omaha and only in town for the weekend and did not have any plans. I suggested we head over to Little Jims (since this bar is never really crowded) and have a drink or two. He decided it was a good plan so we both got or jackets and headed out the door (after I told my buddies I was leaving of course). As we got into Little Jims the bar was more empty than usual. I got my Bacardi and Coke and Wayne got a beer (how butch of him). We decided this bar was to dead to stay at so we decided to go back to my place which was down the street. Now I'm not one to kiss and tell but let's just say he did not leave until around noon the next morning.

After we exchanged numbers and parted ways I got a text from Tyrone asking if I wanted to do lunch, and after all the cardio work I was doing the previous night I could have went for some food. We met at the local Ihop grabbed a bite to eat, caught up on what's been going on and than parted ways. I decided to give Wayne a call to see what he was up to. He told me that he was still in the neighborhood doing a bit of shopping so I decided to join him. As we were looking at some vintage items we decided we should head back to Roscoes for a few drinks (don't worry it was past noon so it's not like we had a drinking problem). We sat down and got the special of the day (Long Island Pitchers). As we were enjoying each other company 30-40 later a large crowd of guys came in with one hag between the bunch of them. Now I'm not sure what they were on but you could tell they had something besides booze going through their system. The worked their way around the bar until they ended up on either side of myself and Wayne. We just tried our best to ignore them which was hard to do until we finished our pitcher of booze. By this time they were starting to be funny. However since neither Wayne nor myself got any sleep the night before we figured we'll head back to his hotel room so he could change clothes. As we're in his room we both fall onto the bed cuddling each other and the next thing you know we woke up 3-4 hours later. We just laughed and said "I guess we were more tired than we thought". After we got dressed we headed back to the bars. Now considering it was Sunday (and Oscar night) most of the bars were packed. We headed over to Sidetracks (sorry Justin) but there were nothing there so we decided to head back to my place and just crash (yes I know we just woke up but we were dead tired). After we got back to my place we started making out and one thing lead to another and..... well you can just use your imagination there. The next day (Monday) Wayne was leaving to head back home and I had a dentist appointment at 0730. We cuddled and made out for a bit more then parted ways. I'm hoping to catch him back in Chicago for IML this year but only time will tell. Oh and if you're interested in a picture of Wayne here he is.

P.S. Jay I gave up my addiction. How are you doing?

Feb 20, 2008

How Far is to Far for using the "N" word

Sorry but I just found this video by the Onion and thought it was one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time.

Use Of 'N-Word' May End Porn Star's Career

Thanks Living My Life In NY

BB9 - Matt gets ANOTHER B/J in the Big Brother House (NSFW)

It appears as though Natalie gave Matt ANOTHER blowjob in the BB house. I'm sure this women realizes she's being a slut on National TV. I guess some people just don't care.

Feb 15, 2008

Michael Lucas agrees with me.

It appears as though even Michael Lucas agrees with me about homophobia in the African-American commuity. Look at what he said at a speach he gave at Stanford University this past week.

Hello Everyone,
First let me tell you that I had a wonderful time speaking at Stanford. It was a paid engagement, and I was honored to be hired by such an prestigious institution. They gave me the best reception, from accommodations at the best hotel in town to an enjoyable dinner with the organizers of the event—about 10 students—who were absolutely marvelous to talk with.
In my speech I addressed the controversy, talked about my life and business, discussed my stance on safe sex, and made clear my political views. It was followed by a Q&A session, where I answered over 30 questions in over an hour, but just like my engagements at Yale, NYU, and Rutgers, there wasn't time to answer all the questions. The students appreciated my straight talk and honest approach.
The only one controversial moment that I can recall in the two hours on stage was when one of the students asked me why the gay adult industry "segregates" African-American models. I answered that he probably has never seen my films, as my movies are all interracial. I've personally performed with African-American actors at least 20 times in my career, and numerous African-American actors are constantly featured in my films. That's why one of my very first awards at the GAYVNs was for Best Ethnic-Themed Video, as I've always used actors from all over the world, from South America to the Middle East. The student, however, tried to provoke me and kept asking about the issue, wondering why other studios don't use more African-American actors. I gave him a very straightforward and a very truthful answer, stating the fact that though we would all love to see more African-American actors applying to work in our films, we don't have as many of them doing so. And the reason is simple: homophobia in the African-American community, which prevents them from applying. This one particular student started arguing, and I repeated my statement and told him that the truth does not always stay in the middle... sometimes it's either on the right or the left, sometimes the truth can be unpleasant. But homophobia in the African-American community is a well-known fact. It's not even a subject for argument. Homophobia something that we should all be working on in every community, regardless of race.
I thanked the students for coming in such a large number, especially on the evening of Valentine's Day. I received a round of applause and spent about 20 minutes signing autographs. The entire event was filmed by my friend, cameraman Mr. Pam. I will release it in a couple of weeks. It will also be included in a documentary about my life which will be out sometime this Fall.


If you would like to find the link to what I was refering to earlier here it is Coming Out Why.

Feb 14, 2008

Facial Hair Style for 2008

When Old Man Winter arrives, he throws open the door for guys to be more creative with their style. Many looks are influenced by layers, stylish winter accessories and sharp outerwear, but the most overlooked -- and maybe most underused -- fashion trend winter allows for is facial hair. It’s sad, but most guys neglect their facial hair styles for winter and its ability to broaden their cold-weather look. And even better than the diversity it affords, facial hair styles comes free of charge and help protect you from winter’s harsh winds. In fact, facial hair is probably the most versatile, fashionable and practical component of your winter ensemble. That’s why you should add a new element to your fashion arsenal and opt for one of these dashing facial hair styles for winter.

Trimmed goatee
If you’re new to facial hair styles for winter or favor understatements, the most subtle, yet commanding, option is a trimmed goatee. With its modish, manicured appearance, this look provides a restrained urban flare to your winter appearance; there’s no denying that a trimmed goatee evokes an air of metropolitan sensibility. For proof, simply turn to Gary Dourdan. His trimmed goatee injects an urbane, yet edgy, element to his already-sharp style. This option is perfect for guys who want to start small, maintain a polished look, and/or infuse their style with a smooth sophistication.

What this facial hair style says about you: You possess a slick, well-maintained style that’s both trendy and classy at once.

Want a facial hair style for winter that’s intricately dashing? Then elect the balbo as your facial hair style of choice. A three-part look -- separate mustache, soul patch and chin beard -- the balbo conveys a real sense of elegance and self-confidence. It’s a handsome option that echoes with an Old World classical charm. And if you go this route, use Eric Dane as your guide to ensure you pull it off properly. Thanks to his meticulous facial hair, Dane represents everything the balbo can and should be: dapper, debonair and exact. Guys employing this facial hair style for winter demonstrate a clear penchant for all things classic and refined.

What this facial hair style says about you: With a charm and charisma that’s all your own, you prefer those things in fashion -- and in life -- that are cultured, distinguished and sophisticated.

Heavy stubble
Though you may not think it counts, heavy stubble is an effortlessly fashionable facial hair style for winter; plus, it provides a trendy, low-maintenance alternative to those styles that require more attention. Also, heavy stubble offers a perfect strategy for guys who are constantly dealing with a heavy beard. With its no-fuss appearance, this rakish option creates a laid-back image that errs on the side of ease. But if you still need convincing, look to the rugged styling of Zachary Quinto; his heavy stubble puts a disheveled brilliance on his impeccable style. So, go ahead and augment your winter wardrobe with some casual elegance and sport the heavy stubble.

What this facial hair style says about you: Easygoing and unassuming, you own a masculine, dapper appearance that’s devoid of being overly invested in maintaining a pristine pretty-boy appearance.

We have two more facial hair styles for winter

Scruffy beard
Should you aspire to a bad-boy image, head out wearing a scruffy beard. Growing your facial hair a few days past heavy stubble allows you to convey a daring irreverence for convention, as scruffy beards suggest a defiant style and exude self-confidence. However, rules apply to this one: You must wear an extremely sharp suit or be one handsome guy to counteract the unkempt face. The perfect example in this case is Ryan Gosling. By sporting a scruffy beard, Gosling not only exudes a mature, carefree image, but also an assured sense of style. That’s why this facial hair style for winter is ideal for courageous guys who like pushing the envelope.

What this facial hair style says about you: You’re calm, cool and collected, but most of all, you’re secure in terms of both your style and yourself.

Full beard
Real men this winter will go all out and grow a full beard. As the most advanced and impressive facial hair styles for winter, a full beard produces a truly masculine and grown-up air of erudition. Case and point: Jake Gyllenhaal. His full beard bolsters his leading-man status, graduating his appearance and style to a more mature, rakishly handsome level; it’s a big-boy look that’s always becoming of a man. Any guy who wants to do the same should follow Gyllenhaal’s lead.

What this facial hair style says about you: Maturity and sophistication are the cornerstones of your style and persona.

This winter, forget the clean-shaven look of summer and sport the facial hair. Varying this aspect of your image during cold weather gives you several opportunities to mix things up. You’ll enjoy finding new cost-effective ways to reinvent yourself. Even better, you’ll find the ladies loving the new you.

Feb 13, 2008


After reading one of my favorite blogs Troy I could not resist and had to do this quiz. Now I'm not sure how accurate they are but it's fun.

Animal Quiz
You're a Boa Constrictor!

You're that person who is always offering massages to people and you
spend a lot of time training yourself to get better at giving them. Sometimes,
however, you make people just a little nervous with how close you're getting to
their neck. But you can usually knead them right back into a false sense of
security, er, I mean into feeling comfortable. Your mouth seems to be capable of
opening wider than anyone else's. You've sometimes wondered what it would be like
to be made out of feathers.

The Book Quiz

You're The Sound and the Fury!

by William Faulkner
Strong-willed but deeply confused, you are trying to come to grips
with a major crisis in your life. You can see many different perspectives on the issue,
but you're mostly overwhelmed with despair at what you've lost. People often have a hard
time understanding you, but they have some vague sense that you must be brilliant
anyway. Ultimately, you signify nothing.

The State Quiz
You're Idaho!

You're a real meat-n-potatoes kind of person, or more accurately, a
potatoes-n-potatoes type. There's little else that captures your attention from sunup to
sundown than farming, eating, or simply admiring the splendor of the tater. Sure, you
stop to see the butterflies once in a while, or to look at rocks, but mostly you just
wish they were potatoes too. Secretly, you hold a stash of potatoes in the cellar for the
time when the government comes to round them up and take them for their nefarious
purposes. You will stop them!

The University Quiz
You're Arizona State University!

Red hot and often prone to flaring, you tend to display a
roaring temper. You convey an attitude of anger and aren't even above hauling
out a pitchfork when especially fired-up. When happy, however, you're one of
the first to the party. This makes people think that you've risen from a fiery
place below. You sometimes mistakenly think a Dave Matthews album was named
after you.

Winter in Chicago

While I'm sure most people can understand this but winter in Chicago is terrible. Just yesterday as I was at work and looked outside my window I noticed it really start to come down (the snow that is). It continued to snow up until it was time for me to leave for work. I decided after getting inspiration from Justin that I would post pictures of different areas of Chicago.

This was the imagine I saw as I left my office building.

This is the train station as I'm waiting for my train to arrive.

Looking out on the streets from the train platform.
Looking in the opposite direction on the train platform.
Opposite side train moving away.
This is the train pulling into the station.

This is one of the spears located in Lakeview (Boystown) of Chicago the area I live in.

For those familiar with Chicago this is the street I live on.

Feb 7, 2008

Gym Workout 02/06/08

Feb 6, 2008

Life is funny…

As I was lying in bed thinking about things that happened this weekend it makes me start to think “What type of friend are you”. What I mean by this is that we all have friends we know will tell us the truth (even when it might hurt a bit), or friends that will tell us only what we want to hear to make us feel good.

Now me I believe I’m the first one. I’ll tell you the truth even if it might hurt, however it is not my intensions to hurt someone but to be honest and tell them the truth which I think is better than lying to them. Basically if I see something wrong I’m going to say something instead of standing around and watching someone get hurt.

However I realize that some people take things to personal and I’ve come to realize that I just can’t say anything to certain people. Maybe I’m just to “real”. I’m not sure if this is my upbringing or something I had to realize from actual life experience of trial and errors. Also it might have to do with emotions. I have been told by both family and friends that it seems as though I have no emotions when it comes to certain things. For me I don’t cry or get emotional over situations that I can’t change. However do they hurt me, yes, do I feel sad and helpless about not being able to change them, yes. Do I break down and cry or get emotional because I feel as though the weight of the world is on my shoulders, no. And I want to say I don’t believe that saying that “real man don’t cry”. I feel as though you’re a stronger man for crying (if you have to) and not caring about what others might think about you.

So I was wondering am I alone in wanting a friend to tell me the truth instead of lying to me to make me feel better? What about you, what type of friend are you / would you like to have?

Feb 1, 2008

Coming Out (Why?)

This post is based on a lick of sleep and I guess you can say a bit of the winter blues. As I was lying in bed around 2am many things started going through my head. But the one that stood out the most was “coming out” to family and friends. It made me start thinking about my life and how it would be if I came out. Or better yet it made me wonder, do others feel that their family know however there is a “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy.

The reason I’m asking this question is because a few years ago when I was dating this one guy and invited him to my family house for Thanksgiving and Christmas (he even made the turkey for the first Thanksgiving which my family still talk about), nothing was brought up about this as to what type of “friends” we are. I guess they thought we were just old buddies since we both went to the same High School.

Now I’m sure some of you might think that “they know” however every time we go out somewhere and a women “flirts” with me my family is always like. Oh she’s a nice girl, you should try to introduce yourself to her, now anyone that knows me will know that either male or female I’m not the type of person to just approach someone (at least not with out a lot of booze first).

It just upsets me at times that I’m such a coward to come out to my family. I mean we’re not the “Cosby” family or anything however we are close. Which is why I think it’s so hard. I’m not sure how they would react. I’ve read both good coming out stories… and bad ones… and I’m just not sure if I’m ready to deal with it now.

Sometimes I wish that if they know that they will just come right out and say it or at the very least ask instead of me holding it all in. I think this is one of the major reasons I’m not really that close to my family because I don’t want them to discover this part of me. This secret life I live even though we live in the same city. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever tell my family or if they will ever ask me. I guess time only tell.

Oh to get to the reason for this post. It’s actually a question for both people who are out as well as people who are still in the closet.

If you’re out what was the reason for you to come out, or were you actually asked by a parent / friend if you were gay. How has this affected your relationship with the people close around you? How long have you lived your life in the closet?

For others still in the closet, what is your reason for that? Is it because you’re afraid of how your family will react (sort of like you let them down). Do you think you will ever come out on your own to your loved ones?

So you can see from my bio I’m in my 30’s and still afraid of the stigma surround black gay males. I think the stereotypes that I see on T.V. and in public might also be a factor as to why I choose to stay in the closet. They usually range from being totally Nelly Queens, which I am not, or they are “Thugs” which I am not attracted to in the least. I hope this does not sound racist or anything however I feel as though to be Black or Mexican and gay, is a bigger issue than if you were white.

The reason I’m saying this is because “mainstream” society seems to accept white gay American more. However in the Black and Mexican community it seems to be as though you are a disgrace to your race because you’re not a “Man”. Sorry this post is going on longer than I intended. I’m sure everyone has their views on this subject and any comments (or suggestions) someone can give would be very helpful.