I’m writing this blog because of a friend that can not see the errors of his ways and I wanted to see if there were anyone else out there that have friends in this same type of situation.
My buddy Chris is a 30 year old guy that likes “younger” boys, and by younger I mean twinks that can pass for girls. Now he’s a very nice and attractive guy however he always seems to pick the wrong guys and basically everyone tells him it’s because he’s always trying to date someone 10 years his junior.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying it can’t work out with someone that is 10 years younger then you but serious. Besides sex what would a 30 and 20 year old have in common (and on that note my buddy does not believe in having random sex)?
This new guy he has been “dating” for about a week name Robert broke up with him via text (that’s even worst than Carrie being broken up with on a post it note). Chris was so upset about that that he removed him from his Myspace page (don’t even get me started on that). Plus he talked to me saying that he really need to start dating guys his own age since he realize that he does not have anything in common with younger guys.
This all happened on Saturday morning. Now today after I get to work I get a text message from Chris saying “Make up sex is the best”. I gave him a call and he went back to Robert. He stated that Robert called him and apologized for being so jealous about Chris hanging out with me on Friday and not being with him (even though he could not go out because he’s still in school).
To me it really makes Chris look pathetic because he said that he knows he has nothing in common with this person yet he still went back to him. I finally had to tell him that I don’t want to hear about his relationships anymore because they are always the same… Going for the younger, immature guy and they all end the say way.
The worst part about it is Chris gets hit on by guys his own age who he will have a lot more in common with and I could actually see something coming out of it but because they are not twinks he does not pay them any attention.
I know I should not care who he dates because it’s none of my business, however I can’t help but care about my friends and want the best for them. So what should I do? Should I continue to support him in the poor decisions he’s making in the guys he’s dating. Should I just keep my mouth shut and not mention it anything to him unless he ask? Or was it best to do what I did and tell him I really don’t want to hear about his relationships (or the break up that is sure to follow)?
Please note names have been changed to protect the guilty but he knows who he is.
Jan 28, 2008
Can it really work with nothing in common?
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5 comments:
I have to disagree with the title of your post. They have a lot in common, and it's one of two things: Either he is immature, or these twinks are very mature for their age. Besides other factors that draw these two age groups together like money, drugs, and pure sex, maturity has a lot to do with their connection. There's no other possible reason, other than those three outside factors, that can draw those two age groups together.
i've been in your shoes...
i have a friend who does the exact same thing. he's almost 30 and likes to date barely legal guys.
and he always gets hurt. they dont know what they want. or if they do, its just sex.
he needs to date more mature guys who look young. like myself. i'm hispanic and age well. (i'm 24 and recently was carded for a rated R movie...)
sadly, i just see him as a friend or else it might work out well.
but yes, you should care. that's what friends are for. but he needs to, in turn, listen to your help and advice.
It is more of a root cause type thing. There is something inside him that is makes him continue to make the same mistakes, even though he knows full well how they are going to end up. You know, it is like the old adage, that the only common thread in all of your bad relationships is you. Maybe he has his own fears of commitment and they manifest themselves in seeking out guys he knows aren't going to commit. The strange thing will happen when he does meet that rare 21 year old who does have his act together...what happens then?
You're right to be concerned, but until he realizes he needs some therapy, then he probably will continue...
Be a friend.. but.. be an honest friend..
well its cool say you don't want to hear about it, if they are always a bunch of drama, because that is tiring, but if possible, you can listen quietly and keep track, and then remember the facts when they keep repeating, and that is something you can point out. sounds like the friend has a pretty strong physical attraction for the type, so maybe the only thing for him.
I never understood why a great bud of mine went for smaller fem guys at ALL. just didn't see it because i go for masc dudes ONLY.
anyway, great post. keep it up.
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